Of COURSE!!!!!  That seems to me like the only decent thing to do.  I screwed up in this situation, and frankly, I'd feel relieved that nobody was hurt or killed.  So, I have to say that even if the owner said that I didn't have to pay the deductible, that I would.

So, about a month ago, I broke up with my boyfriend.  I think it was a good move, actually.  I wasn't happy, and I really don't think he was either, though I don't know that he'll realize that until he stops thinking that he'll be in love with me forever.  In that time, I've discovered that while I don't actually enjoy being single, per se, I do enjoy the fact that I don't have to constantly worry about having someone else reacting to everything that I do.  It's a great realization because it means that I can be more relaxed and more me.  I've also realized that i should never have entered the relationship.  I never really got over someone who I dated almost directly before I dated James.  I thought I had, and for the longest time I was really very angry with Ryan, because he hurt me, and I loved him.  But once the anger faded a bit, well, a lot actually, I realized that he was still the sweet, caring, wonderful guy I fell for in the first place.  But I was in a relationship with someone else...someone who I had ceased to love about four months before i actually ended the relationship in the hope that things would get better if I just let him have what he wanted for a while.  In the hope that he would stop exploding everyday when I got home from work and said something, anything really.

And I've discovered that I have a very limited number of friends, actually.  Before James and I started dating, everyone in school was at the very least an acquaintance with whom I could hold a conversation-with civility at the very least.  When James and I started dating, I was shunned...god only knows why, but I was.  And now that we're not together, well, it hasn't changed any because I'm working a full time job and I'm never actually at school.  it doesn't help either that I have no numbers, and well...as a former music major I really understand how busy all of the people that I used to hang out with are.  It's just weird because I'm in a different place in my life than they are and I think it's stupid.  I didn't want to stop going to school, I didn't want to get a full time job, or anything like that.  In fact, the whole reason I moved to Portland was so that I could live with James and my best friend Kristen....and because I needed to not live in my parents' house anymore.  I just didn't want to be there, and it showed.

The one good thing that has come out of this is that my parents and I are on better terms now.  While I know that they always loved me and I know that I have always loved them, I think that seeing less of each other actually allows me to like them more, because they're not trying to help me structure my life to their ideals.  And because I'm free to be the gay son who lives on his own schedule and not on theirs.  But that's really hardly the point.  My family life is good, while my social life has plummeted....It's like a bizarre scale.

So- I got DDR for Christmas, and I do really enjoy the game.  It even has a workout mode, which is kind of great because it's in constant blizzard mode up here and I do need to exercise (As I've already mentioned, I need to lose weight).  BUT--it's kind of a pain to share, because how exactly do you get in a decent amount of exercise if you have to get off the stupid game every two seconds so that someone else can play and have a good time????  So, yeah....I'm a little upset because people bitched at me to get off and let them play, and they just don't get that a person might possibly get in the zone and want to go and go and go......


AGH!  Anyway--- now we're playing Sonic the Hedgehog???  But that will end soon-

As a side note, totally ate more food-damn!  The diet is so damnably difficult

So, It's January first, and that of course means, it's time for new years resolutions.  Well, I have to say that as always my resolution is to lose ten pounds because, let's face it, I'm kind of a big guy.  My roommates are totally dieting with me.  So...we all totaled up our caloric intake and wouldn't you know it, I'm a COW!!!  2200 Calories and it's not even 8 o'clock yet.  I'd blame the pop tarts but the truth is I just eat way too much....

This year is going to suck....